bofwa

I'm not supposed to smile today...


I'm supposed to wear Beyonce's halo on my head.


I blame you, always...


I cannot remember the last written

non academic thing written...


I will be ok today...

Deep down it's you,
not my cat who chews on paper.

Plaintively can I go to bed to deal with

conflict in the morning..

I'm stronger than that.....really you are..

I realize no one will probably read this,

that's not the important part but if any one

can think of examples of Dr. Laura not being

a ruthless bitch let me know...

We went shopping for apples.
Instead you found clothes in the dryer.
Cause and effect
The rain won't let up.
I'm officially obese.
Probably should never buy a scale
and keep it.
Position papers are confusing
when there's no general theme
Legalize drugs
Only two pages, way to state
an argument.
We can all start getting it
cheap.
Displaying an art addict on a wall.
Umbrellas pointless, the wind knocks
me over. I miss you pink, stay sober.

Dear Chester,
It's been while since we last saw each other,


The reassemble is remarkable, yellow cornfields

Dancing in my windows, magical, Simple put.

I cannot delay this message any longer,

friend me or else I will smother you

in mushroom of plenty. The clouds are somewhat sheepish,

the cow jumping over the moon , the little boy
and his stupid pie, there/s no more pit pat

goodbye...


Love,
Alice with the pink Hat

Awake, sometimes.
Poetic minds: poetry dim-wit.
Magic, magic in the air.
You can't imagine the last-time
dim-wit.
Poetic dumb luck struck.
Ponder-some, no?
Partner, yes.
I love what you do to me,
sometimes.
The moment is right, here,
now on a bus, staring at pretty
so-called bald-headed men; who
out-did themselves in their time.
Out-did it? Yes, for me.
No genius in the air, the man
taking pictures in the breeze way.
No work at all, rippling still, over the
bridge we all walk over.
Pretty breeze, be still to me.
We should cut this short you
and I before tearing the music to pieces.

Myself...

Cream cheese,....No kidding I am trying to think
of the last time I had cream cheese....

8 months, Golden bagel.....

Ok back to important matters like:

complaining , frog legs and fireballs.

I cannot stop eating them. Probably because

they are 5 cents ( I meant the fireballs
not the frog legs) I hear they taste
like chicken.

I lied to tha cashier in the cafetaria , told her

I lost a dollar fifty. I should of made it two dollars
and went and bought some more fireballs.

God must of been on my side because

he also canceled English which I can't stand; he gave me a c plus

on an in class essay which is Absurd because I got an A on my in class essay for

counseling 124......It makes me doubt my writing a lot . I am hostle when it comes to my writing.

-I've been fired for the first time in my life on my birthday, what a lovely birthday.
( I have two jobs)


-That I work my ass-off and don't have any food in my house and hungry.

- That I left my best friend in a hotel( My baby cat) so he could

have a better home in a shelter since the room I just rented doesn't

allow pets. I felt like I murdered the sweet thing.

-The fact that the room is so small that I am sleeping on a hard-ass floor
with my boyfriend.

That I cannot afford the book for my CFS 140 class hence I am behind.

That I can't afford the 20 cents to print off my assignment for Counseling
124.

That my work gave me five hours this wk ( I hear it's a mistake so why don't they fix it.)

I'm more angry than ashamed but still.

It is the beginning of a new error, I'm starving.

On the plus side, I found 100 dollars by a tanning place a wk later.

Bought: cheap dvd player and a remote for the television; we lost it.

Not the most responsible way to spend it.

-------- Inserts new subject---------------------

Called the doctor today, won't refill my pescription.

********* ok done..... but seriously what do they expect....
for me to wait a month till they can circle me into
their appointment book. I go two days without this
stuff and my body panics, let alone does it function normally.
( welcome to the graces of being poor)
Normal is relative, however. Not sure what I'm going to do: bunch
of presentations, tests and papers coming up in these coming two
wks.....

*ponders why is behavior health complex*

Karma's a bitch.

I lost 130 dollars walking back from 7-11

Damn diet coke addiction....

Perfected, art of pouring beer.
Whose and who.
Playing guitar, recognized recreation.
New laws allot three months until a
served eviction.
Breathe until then.
Apparently stress:Knock yourself out.

Drugs aren’t it.
Not exactly mad, just concerned.
When someone thinks they”need” drugs,
they aren’t fulfilled with themselves, none of us are
but there comes a point where we just accept it: drugs
materialism no longer speaks and if drugs are an answer
hopefully we’re healing, accepting drugs, self actualizing.

You scored as Christianity.



Your views are most similar to those of Christianity. Do more research on Christianity and possibly consider being baptized and accepting Jesus, if you aren't already Christian. Christianity is the second of the Abrahamic faiths; it follows Judaism and is followed by Islam. It differs in its belief of Jesus, as not a prophet nor historical figure, but as God in human form. The Holy Trinity is the concept that God takes three forms: the Father, the Son (Jesus), and the Holy Ghost (sometimes called Holy Spirit). Jesus taught the idea of instead of seeking revenge, one should love his or her neighbors and enemies. Christians believe that Jesus died on the cross to save humankind and forgive people's sins.

Christianity

83%
Buddhism

67%
Judaism

54%
Satanism

46%
Islam

38%
Hinduism

33%
agnosticism

33%
Paganism

21%
atheism

13%

I am back to my progresso chicken noodle expensive phase therefore the ( idiot is blotted and can't move)

My so-called love of my life which I don't see anymore( which we really are together twenty- four seven) Our sleep schedules are a wit's in.

Whenever he's awake he's insanely grumpy and I wouldn't mind throwing macrite darts at him because I feel loney.... End of Story....

When you have been around a person long enough, habits incriminate your brain. Be very afraid. my guess, it will stab you in the back later. Case sensitive: when someone wants to get out of talking about you, they make someone else do it, hence avoiding you. Haven't exactly killed anyone yet but feelings are hurt. Move on. I can't helped but be pissed, wallowing in self-pity. Services may not be one dimensional who knows. God does. I keep going back to him lately but the conversation personality scapegoats. I'll get over this too, just need to rant a little, free narrow-minded altitudes. If, you want nothing to do with me, tell me, quit avoiding. I take this way better. Ok, I lied but his format better suits. Arguing with the subconscious.

One of the reasons this journal has been left in the dust, is because I have taken up a handwritten one. A computer is not as accessible to me in a private manor, and what thoughts aren’t private?

Came across a letter you had written me Ray, so many things I need to say to you yet still haven’t written. Every time, I stumble across your words: awe invokes my fragile fingers, you’re brilliant. XD

Started classes on Monday: Peer Advisory Training (not sure if I’m the person suited for this) the class seems like one big group therapy session, unsure intimacy. * Grunts* Am I knowledgeable enough to advise someone on tough issues? Someone’s life is being placed in my hands. Ok, not solely, someone with more experience may need to step in, if need be. It’s this whole boundary, confidentially/ relationship with a peer we’re supposed to be gaining; tools in a professional modal towards our individuality. Maybe I will feel more ready when we’ll actually be apart of the advisory team on campus. Luckily that’s further down the semester.

Who really wants to read an entry with a boring title.

This is one of those unedited, free-lanced entries that I

will kill myself later for...


Fuck world peace, German wars. Any war.

Chosen vodka and a codom; protect youself billy goat,
tired care. There's this beautiful silence we'd create,

tactful remission; our dying grandmother. So-much God-damned life.

Happy aniversarie, goblets kind-r-e--d... Winter cards, dying holiday.

Dear Patty,

Less than twenty-four hours from your departure and I have already wanted to do what I don’t believe in. Last night, everyone was high on life, intoxicated, dancing in circles; there is always the dark side of intoxication however: depression. They were at each other’s throat, naked, unloving. Observing, and toweled, allowed myself to be depressed too. What about this happiness façade so witty a mundane: nothingness? No-one knew what happiness consisted of. It’s fuzzy from this night, barely writing this page. Goodnight.


Love,

Takia

I don't really go to the store much anymore.

Went to get a diet soda, and I saw my psychiatrist

loading up on wine and champagne....

On my way to the store I put my antidepressants in my pocket

to take with the soda. Now I question his judgment.

My life isn't bad or anything, it isn't. But, I am scared

to enroll in an intensive inpatient eating disorder treatment center.
I lost weight because of depression not because I was starving
myself. It's not as if I can afford treatment for an eating disorder.

"But I like the inconveniences."
"We don't," said the Controller. "We prefer to do things comfortably."
"But I don't want comfort. I want God, I want poetry, I want real danger, I want freedom, I want goodness. I want sin."
"In fact," said Mustapha Mond, "you're claiming the right to be unhappy."
"All right, then," said the Savage defiantly, "I'm claiming the right to be unhappy."
"Not to mention the right to grow old and ugly and impotent; the right to have syphilis and cancer; the right to have too little to eat; the right to be lousy; the right to live in constant apprehension of what may happen tomorrow; the right to catch typhoid; the right to be tortured by unspeakable pains of every kind."
There was a long silence.
"I claim them all," said the Savage at last.
Mustapha Mond shrugged his shoulders. "You're welcome," he said.

Aldous Huxley, Brave New World